Hot Topic: How Long Should You Date Before Getting Engaged?

How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com Rachel Gulotta Photography

How long did you and your fiance date before he or she proposed and what’s normal? The answers vary from decades of dating to four days (wow!). Even though everyone from your parents, to extended family members and friends will have an opinion on the matter — from “You’re jumping in too quickly!” to “It took him way too long to propose, are you sure?” — there isn’t a magic formula. It doesn’t matter whether you waited five years or five months to get engaged. The most important part is that you’re confidently committed to one another.  Do you agree or disagree? Add your time-frame and voice your opinion on the community boards and in the comments below!

How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com How Long Did You Date Before Getting Engaged | blog.theknot.com

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  • Anne
    02/24/15 at 03:30

    FI and I dated 2 1/2 years before getting engaged, but I knew it was coming, not exactly when but almost the whole time we dated we talked about what we wanted out of the relationship and if we felt like this is what God has planned for us. I think we would have gotten engaged sooner but were both only 20 now, we meet when we were 17. I feel like under 6 months is too short, especially if you weren’t friends or didn’t know each other before hand

  • 02/25/15 at 03:19

    My fiance Steve & I dated for just over five years, lived together for two of those and became engaged this past New Year’s Eve. He works overseas and was unable to be home for the most of the holidays this past Winter but I knew he would be arriving home on the 31st. I had some intuition it just MIGHT be happening when he suggested I invite my best friend & her husband to join us for dinner that night as he was so adamant about it. My friend was unable to come after all as her house became flooded due to a broken pipe that day and when Steve & I went to dinner, nothing was brought up in regards to a ring etc so I started to think I had jinxed it by getting my hopes up, but shortly before midnight he pointed out an elaborate large box on our fireplace mantelpiece saying “I wonder what that is”, clarifying that I couldn’t check it out until a minute before midnight. Needless to say the prickles of excitement were running rampant as I started to really believe it was going to happen. As the countdown started, he said “hurry up and open it” and I did, finding the most incredible emerald ring he had specifically made to suit my green eyes. I looked at him and he said “will you marry me”? I just pointed to the floor and he laughed and obliged by getting down on one knee, repeated the question to which of course I yelled, YES!! We are both in our late 40’s & look greatly forward to this final chapter of our lives together. Keep in mind this man informed me upon our first months of dating that he had NO intention of ever getting married again (previous marriage had ended badly) and I assured him I wasn’t looking for that either (disillusioned by previous men I had relationships with). Guess the joke was on us!! ❤

  • Gold Labl
    02/25/15 at 03:46

    I always think after a longer time is better but each relationship is different. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and though I know we will get married etc. I’m not rushing for our moment, I know it will happen when it’s right and we are working on building a strong foundation which is working really well. Everything from finances on down, we don’t want to figure it out later so it’s worth the time now. We’re friends before anything and what’s the rush on forever. xo Jazmyn

  • myfauxdiamond
  • 02/26/15 at 11:23

    Good article, thanks for sharing such a good stuff

  • Britnee Wolfe
    02/26/15 at 02:50

    My fiancé and I were together for one year and 2 months when he proposed. We have a 18 month engagement and are both very ready to be married!

  • Kelsie
    02/26/15 at 04:31

    11 months! Our engagement lasted longer than our bf/gf days! 14 month engagement!

  • 02/26/15 at 08:09

    He proposed on our 2 year anniversary exactly

  • 02/26/15 at 08:12

    I put my email address in the wrong place sorry

  • Jenn McCarthy
    02/26/15 at 09:02

    He proposed a week after our 6 and a half year anniversary. We will be getting married a week after our 8 year anniversary!

  • 02/26/15 at 11:33

    Reblogged this on Hello Beautiful Bridal & Formal Wear and commented:
    Sometimes it takes a while and sometimes, it’s instant! However / whenever you get to your engagement is as unique as each couple!

  • hippie007
    03/03/15 at 04:50

    my wife ask me to marry her in 2002 , I did then marry her in 2010, I firsts date in 2002 was a fuck on river road , no dinner ,no movie , just sex , we love each other very much ! 13years all together now !

  • Lauren
    03/05/15 at 05:17

    My fiance proposed 3 years and 10 months after we officially started dating. It was something we had discussed, but I was at a point where I had just begun to think maybe it wasn’t going to happen… and then he did it. It was a very special day and now we are getting married in less than 5 months! I couldn’t be happier!

  • 03/08/15 at 12:48

    8 months! Our engagement lasted longer than our bf/gf days! 11 month engagement!

  • 03/11/15 at 11:50

    My brother once shared with me some very insightful wisdom of his:
    You don’t get engaged because of the length of time you’ve already spent together. You get engaged because of the length of time you want to spend with the person in the FUTURE.
    Too many people I know seem to rush into engagement and marriage “mode” without truly understanding themselves or the person they are pledging to stay with until they die.

  • Heather
    03/16/15 at 07:30

    I would agree with Catherine…if you want to get married…get married to the person you love, not to anyone just to get married, and you can take however long you want at it!!

  • Amber
    04/08/15 at 09:08

    April 16 will be 4 months for my fiancé and I. We’ve already started planning, to the point of putting down deposits and picking out a dress. I’ve already asked my wedding party. When you know, you just know. He hasn’t officially proposed yet, which he will do in December (probably sometime around our anniversary), but he wanted to get started planning so we can get married next June. And he’s very involved in the planning, which threw me at first lol. We’re very happy and can’t wait!

  • Shellese
    04/25/15 at 07:34

    We stared dating the firat day we met the summer before my freshman year of highschool in 2015 (he was a junior). We continued dating throughout most of my high school years until the end of first semester my senior year when he broke it off. Being a high school girl who had a boyfriend almost 4 years and then having to be single on Valentines day…it was awful. Little did I know that it was the BEST thing that could have happened to us. We both dated other people, learned to be alone and live alone, and to be secure in doing so. Almost a year later things rekindled. We dated for yet another couple years before we picked out a ring (he was adamant about paying for it himself), then it was over a year before a “official” proposal happened. I refused to wear it until then, but we had already decided to get married at the court house a week or so before he proposed. So he proposed, then days later we were saying our vows at the court house. We knew we’d be self funding our “official” wedding so we opted to get the tax credit. We already had the mortgage, knew we were getting married anyway- so why wait? We’ll be married a year this August and will be having our “official” wedding/recommitment ceremony on our one year Anniversary. 🙂

  • 06/08/15 at 11:21

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  • Yami
    06/30/15 at 03:03

    Been dating for 6 months now, a lot of question been brought up about marriage and kids by my BF but when I bring the same question up he is telling me that it’s too soon to talk about it, that we’re going too fast. What should I do at this point?

  • 07/17/15 at 03:52

    I don’t think there is any specific time frame for which a couple should date before getting engaged, as there will always be couples who go against the ‘rules’ and still turn out great for their entire lifetimes. I think the key is to always be honest with each other in terms of relationship goals and expectations right from the start.

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Escort cards are extremely easy to personalize and an excellent way to bring in your wedding day colors -- from calligraphed seating cards set atop a textured linen to apples tagged with each guest's name or small personalized bundles of lavender tied off with string. Other ways to display escort cards: Pin them to a clothesline, post them on a board covered in color-coordinated ribbon, or incorporate them into your cocktail hour using personalized stirrers tagged with guests' names.
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